Do you act like you’re in traffic when you’re at work?

Business man in trafficSo fess up. Have you ever not let someone into your lane of traffic? Come on! I know you’ve done it, because I have too!

Now, it could be that the person wants into your lane because their lane is ending, or it could be that they’re doing something they shouldn’t be doing, it doesn’t matter, they want into YOUR lane, and you don’t let them in.

It’s easy NOT to let them in.

You’ve got tinted windows, you just keep looking forward, pretend you don’t see them, no eye contact necessary, right?

Aha, so you HAVE done it!

But how do you feel when you don’t let them in? Do you pass judgment? Do you think that just because they want to get into your lane, they must be some type of “self-absorbed Neanderthal“? Seriously, what are they thinking?

Or maybe, you’re the type of person who just lets everyone in.

If your general rule is not to let someone in, then chances are you feel a bit aggressive, even confrontational when it happens. Your blood pressure rises and your pocket change is bound for the swear jar. Heck, most men are two steps away from pulling out the baseball bat.

Could this be why men die sooner?

If your general rule is to let people in, you’ve probably come to terms with the fact that this stuff is just going to happen. You’re not going to let it upset you, and you just let them in.

You almost don’t notice. It’s all part of life’s flow.

You are probably calmer and more easy-going. Chances are, you’ve got good planning skills, and actually left early enough to get yourself where you needed to go in plenty of time.

So now think of your workplace. Everyone, including you, needs to get “somewhere” during a day, a week or a year. Everyone has goals and pressures that make them do what they feel they need to do, and sometimes people cut in to where you’re trying to go.

Are you the type of person who helps people get on their way or do you block them, ignore them, and let the next guy deal with them?

Which one of these behaviors do you think builds a better team, a better workplace, better overall outcomes?

Fortunately, in the workplace, we have the advantage of talking to people when they seem to be cutting in our lane, and that’s helpful.

It’s like we’re in convertibles.

IF we can find out why they’re cutting in, we might just want to help them. If we need to cut in and we explain ourselves, we might actually get some help as well.

I have seen people in organizations that seem to be solely focused on blocking other people.

It’s their M.O. to get themselves ahead.

It leads to a lot of behind-the-scenes gossip, in-fighting, petty politics and a general lack of productivity. Who wants to be in THAT environment? No wonder these teams break apart quickly.

OK, I know that traffic is traffic and you and I are not likely to change our traffic habits. But in the workplace, the key to success is better communication, and when that happens, we can all get to where we need to go.

Why schools can’t teach Diversity!

Many organizations talk about diversity, but I wonder if they understand what it takes to build a diverse organization.  Hiring processes tend to work by making sure candidates all have the same qualifications. MBA, Ph.D, CPA, you name it.

While educational requirements are a good thing, companies have to get beyond formal education to build a diverse organizations.

Webster’s dictionary defines Diversity as: the condition of having or being composed of differing elements : variety; especially: the inclusion of different types of people (as people of different races or cultures) in a group or organization

Diversity has very little to do with school. It has a lot to do with background. It has a lot to do with experience.

For centuries, schools have been about molding every student to a proven and specific way of thinking. Students become engrained with the way things should be done; the way things have always been done.

I don’t have anything against universities. Heck, I even got into a couple, (managed to get out too) and I hope my kids will go. But I do think what happens in life, aside from ones formal education, can have a greater impact on who a person is, and the skills they bring to the table.

Think of the work ethic of the past generations of immigrant families that populated this country.

Think of your parents or grandparents, the things you learned from them that you know have attributed to your success.

Hmmm…perhaps you are more like them than you think. I know I am, despite years of formal schooling.

Think of the hardships many people have had to overcome if they come from countries with corrupt governments. The atrocities’ they may have faced.    Folks from these places have developed a certain resilience. They have street smarts. If they have made it to Canada, they have shown great determination, motivation and a desire for success.

Many Canadian schools are now filled with wonderfully diverse student populations. But I would bet that it is not their schooling that will make them successful.

It will be how they blend the formal education with their backgrounds and life experience.

Those who hire will need to dig deep to understand what someone is all about. They will have to put aside stereotypes and have an open mind. They will have be learners as well the people who hire. They will have to be great listeners.

As well, employers will have to watch and listen more than ever to understand differing ways of solving a challenge or moving the company forward.

When organizations can do that successfully, the results will be spectacular!

Mixing differing ways of doing things is always a challenge, but without those challenges you are stuck with the “same old, same old”. There is no push to think differently. One might say, there is no push to “think”.

For many organizations, diversity is a lot like change. It is something they would rather not face. Change comes with its challenges and there’s a big learning curve. So here’s something to keep in mind… the most successful and interesting path is most often not the easy one.

How to Listen.

Listening

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have a very good friend who I have known for many years from St. John’s, NFLD.  If you know any thing about folks from “the Rock”, you’ll know that they tend to love life. They seem to always have time to have “a pint” with you, and often like to share a good story.

One thing that has always impressed me about this friend, is that he knows so many people. You can mention his name virtually anywhere, and it seems someone knows him. No one ever has a bad word to say and I am not sure he’s ever had to pay for a hotel when travelling either.

Over the years, I have begun to understand why.

He is one of the few people I had ever met who listens when you speak. He just sits there, listening, taking in everything you have to say. He doesn’t come back with some comparative, competitive type remarks like many people. He seems oblivious to any distraction. I always feel great after spending time with him. I am pretty sure so does everyone else he talks to.

What he is able to do is a rare thing. And for most of us it is even harder than ever before.

The challenge with listening is that it takes time and effort. We interrupt, we lose focus, we compare, we judge.

We take in what we think we need to know and move on to the next thing.

Distractions are everywhere. And to make matters worse, most of us have a device buzzing at us every few minutes or even seconds. It might as well be a pair of electrodes shocking us away from what is really in front of us.

Listening requires concentration and processing, but it can also be relaxing.  Not relaxing in the sense of lying on the beach, but you actually have to pause to do it well.

When you are truly listening you cannot help but pause for a moment.

Listening is like fertilizer for your brain. It causes you to think and examine. It causes you to associate since our brains are always looking for connections. It can cause you to be innovative, creative and even more efficient. Yes, more efficient!.

How many time’s have you to had to re-do something because you did not really listen the first time? 

Because you feel you have no time, you don’t take the time to really listen. Then you miss something. Then you have to do it again. (Right guys?) It’s worth taking the time to listen.

Here’s how you can learn to listen again…

I say again, because when you were very small you were good at it.  (OK, it shut down completely around puberty, but you can bring it back). It’s going to take some time but I promise your life will be better for it.

 

Step 1 – Carve out some quiet time, even just 5 minutes. Be alone. Go somewhere relaxing but where there are some sounds; perhaps your backyard, or a park where it is not too busy. (Leave your smart phone turned off!)

 

Step 2 – Close your eyes and listen for all the sounds around you. Make a mental note of what they are. Work your way from the loudest to the quietest sound you hear. Slowly paint a picture in your mind of what your hearing.  Turn it into a story you could tell someone.  “I sat in the park today for 5 minutes and I heard….” Tell someone about it later.

 

Step 3 – Practice this a few times trying different locations and start to take note of how you feel each time.  As you improve, practice focusing on one sound for a length of time, block out all the others. You can look at it if you want. Make a story in your mind of this one sound.  Is it constant? Does it change?

 

Pay attention to what is happening in your mind. Pay attention to how you feel.

 

Step 4 – Move on to listening to someone tell a story.  It could be in person or on the radio.  But do not do anything else except sit there and listen. Listen to every word, and again paint a mental picture. Listen to their style and their delivery.

 

Pay attention to what is happening in your mind. Pay attention to how you feel. 

 

Step 5 – Look for that feeling you had in the park, or listening to a story, when you are listening to someone talk. This is not some kind of induced state, but just the way you are whenever you really need to listen. It is a behavior.

 

So not only will you get more done, but you may be more relaxed and have more friends. However, I can’t promise about never having to pay for hotel rooms when you visit.

Are you the leader and don’t even know it?

Surprised Leader

 

Let me set the scene, as you may know, I conduct team building & leadership programs that use interactive drumming. I give everyone an instrument to play. People often say to me as they enter the room, “I just want you to know that I have NO rhythm“. Oh, if I only had a nickel…

So it’s fair to say, that for most attendees, that this is their first time hitting a drum. It is also fair to say, that not one of them considers themselves a leader in this situation. But you would be surprised to learn, that even in this “out of your comfort zone” activity, there are leaders and they don’t even know they’re there… here’s how we find them…

First of all, let’s keep this in mind; leadership has everything to do with actions and perceptions.  

For instance, companies hire leaders all the time, but their hiring is based on the candidate’s past accomplishments. Companies have high hopes that the candidate can bring that same success to their organization, but they don’t know for sure he or she can. That’s because, you never know how good a leader is until they are “down and in it”.  

Leadership is a live action sport!  

In business, many challenges can arise for a team of people that a few have never faced before, (launch a new product, reach a certain goal, achieve a certain task, etc). Leaders are often chosen for teams but are those leaders actually the ones who lead? I would argue, only sometimes.

 

Here’s what I have seen, I take non-musicians and give them the task of working together well enough to make music together. I warm them up. I show them some basic technique and get them playing some simple rhythms in unison. Then, when they’re ready, I divide them up into groups and then throw them in the deep end. I make them play together. I don’t assign any leaders.  

Sounds like a recipe for disaster but then something magical always happens...  the leaders emerge.

It happens this way, some people begin to play more confidently than others. People around them notice this and think, “hey, that person must know what they’re doing, I am going to follow them.” Things begin to gel and the group sounds better.

When I stop them, after a good 20 minutes (seriously!), I ask them to point to the leaders in their section. Often the choice is unanimous,and occasionally a few people are singled out. But the point is that some people perceived other people as leaders and decided to follow them.  

Why? Because based on some unspoken criterion, the followers felt that these “leaders” had the “right stuff” in this situation.

But, here’s the really interesting thing… the “leaders” did not know that they were being perceived as such. They are all surprised at being thought of as “a leader”.

So what does this tell you? I think a few things.

1) Leadership emerges when the right attitude and skill set meet the challenge. Notice I mention “attitude”. That’s because it is more important than the skill set. Some people just go for it. We have an expression for that in the music business. “The Strong player makes the rules!”

2) We are always judging and comparing. Not in a mean way, but its human nature to assess what’s going on around us so we can find our place. When we see someone who has a certain aptitude for a task that we think is better then ours, we will simply follow his or her lead.

3) Leadership is fleeting. When the challenges change the chosen leader may not have the “right stuff” any more. The good news is this makes room for a new leader to surface… and it could be you!

So, if you have never thought of yourself as a leader, don’t be so sure. Perhaps the right opportunity has not been presented to you yet. However, I would bet that if you start to look around at your circle (family, friends and colleagues) that there are folks who follow you because they think you have that certain something, in the right situation.

And for those of you content followers out there, don’t forget to let the person you are following know what a great job they are doing. They might have NO idea that they are making a difference to you.

 

Nuances

Wouldn’t it be nice if putting together a good team was as simple as putting together the ingredients of a recipe? Combine a bit of this person and a bit of that person and voila, you’ve got a high performance team. Not that easy is it? Have you ever been on a team filled with people who you think are great individuals but don’t work together very well? It’s because teamwork is all in the Nuances. You know…the unique traits that really makes people who they are. The traits that you don’t actually notice until a situation arises that make them rise to the surface… and usually that happens when working with others. Teamwork is about making adjustments like adjusting the ingredients to get the desired outcome.

I see it all the time with musical groups. Top level musicians have heaps of training, loads of talent and years of experience. You would think that players like that don’t even need to rehearse. But put two of them in a room together and you would learn pretty fast that they do. And here’s why… like all the folks on your team, musicians have personalities, and these personalities creep into how they play. So a rehearsal is not really about learning the music, OK sometimes, but after that it’s about listening, adjusting and negotiating the nuances. Sometimes that goes well and sometimes that can be a bit messy, but the more a group rehearses or performs together the more it gets familiar with their respective Nuances. Then as a group they can decide how “player personality” to put in or leave out at a given time, just whose nuances would be best for the moment at hand. Achieving great results really depends on how well a team can react and think together, how fast they can think as one if you will. And knowing each others nuances can really help that happen. So if you are on a great team, enjoy, because you know it probably won’t last forever because we all evolve and change and so do our nuances. And if you’re not on a great team, maybe you just need to spend a little bit more time together to get to know each others’ “Nuances”.

Fun in the office.

I have heard from a lot of people lately that they don’t get to have much fun at work anymore.  Yes, there was a time…

What? You thought it was all work!  Well yes and no.  We all have to work… Well, ok most of us have to.  Ok, maybe it’s just my wife, myself, all my neighbours and you guys reading this, but I do know it is important to let a little fun creep in. Just listen to the folks around you at your workplace. Do they always talk about work or do they share some stories about life outside work?

Some might say sharing stories is enough, but I would argue we all need a little more. Why should we have a little fun with our co-workers?  Well, because it can help you get out of bed in the morning, it can make your commute seem shorter and the hours at work not so long. Hey, not everyone is going to be your best friend but sharing a little fun can definitely help make a situation better and it can make the team work better too.

So I created this fun video for you to share with a few colleagues. It is painless and it does not really matter whether you succeed.  Sure, it would be cool if you did, but it’ll probably be pretty funny if you don’t. Oh, laughing with your colleagues is fun too!

Of course it requires some teamwork skills: listening, corporation, and being in sync with others.

Click on the video below to have some fun! (Sound alert  – check your speaker volume).

Give yourself a little wellness break, just listen here.

I have prepared a small infusion of energy to help you get through your day. Please turn on your speakers, or put on some headphones, then click on the 1’45″ video below. I hope you enjoy it.

The African Master Drummer Killer Glare

African music has always fascinated me, and I will never forget the first time I played with an African drumming ensemble. I was a grad student at what was a new university for me, and African drumming was one of the many world music courses I could choose from.

The African drumming rehearsal was taking place in a wonderful room, hidden deep in the sub-basement of the Royal Conservatory of Music, which back then was part of U of T. It was an enormous space filled with xylophones, marimbas, vibraphones, kettle drums, drum sets, and countless small and unusual percussion instruments. It is where I spent countless hours practicing, and it was my favourite room in the world at that time.

As I walked down the long hallway that led to the room, I was both excited and scared. I could hear the joyful, intricate rhythms pulsating through the walls. I slowly pushed open the heavy metal door and entered the room. About 20 feet away were 8 university students and probably the most solid brick wall of a man I had ever seen. Seemingly between cultures, he wore dress pants and dress shoes, topped by a colourful, traditional West African shirt. His square jaw and muscularity were obvious, his powerful arms rippling as his hands and sticks made his elongated barrel drum sing. The sound was confident and overwhelming. It was not so much loud, but powerful.

I was in awe and stood by the door frozen for a few moments. Some of the players were new friends I had made earlier in the week, and they waved for me to come over and sit in. I thought to myself, “well that is why I am here, so let’s go”. I walked over, nervous as hell. I sat down and someone gave me a drum and a pair of sticks. There was not much said, almost immediately someone started to play and the piece started again, at full speed. “What, no warm up for the new guy?” I thought. Nope, none of that at this rehearsal. The Master Drummer came to me and showed me my pattern. I got it after a few passes, but he left me while I was still searching to figure out how it fit in with the other parts. What a feeling! I guess it would be bad to stop the rehearsal just for me. Technically my part was not difficult, what was difficult was knowing where to put the notes. I hung in for a while, and then my timing started to drift. That was the moment when I learned about the African Master Drummer Killer Glare. His eyes focused on me, and his intense look told me all I needed to know. I was messing up and I had better get it together. I played quieter to lessen my impact on the others and I began to listen harder to see if I could find my way back in. It was at that point when one of the other students told me to listen to the pattern being played by the double bell player. My first job was to understand how my pattern related to that. Eventually I heard how they fit together but not before receiving a couple of more killer glares.

As time went on, I realized that the power of this music lay in the perfect synchronization of the individual parts. As weeks went by, I learned all the other parts of the other instruments and knew exactly how they should fit together. There were other factors like endurance, since the pieces were very physical and very long. I later learned that the more locked in the parts were, the more able the Master Drummer was able to go into a trance state. Something I did not actually believe until I saw it happen in a live on stage performance. I assure you, it does happen, and when it does it is a magical moment for the players and the audience.

So despite receiving my share of glares that year, I fell in love with African music and went on to study it for many years. Looking back “the glare” was my teacher’s way to get me to pay attention. After all I was playing his music, something he had played almost since birth. This centuries old music has taught me a great deal about listening, working with others and achieving more than you think is possible; all valuable lessons I use today. However, I never use the glare technique when I am the teacher, it’s just not my style.

If you’d like to hear a modern representation of the piece I was learning please click here. Sorry, no youtube video of me playing it from way back when I was learning it.

What part of you is original?

Many people play drums. You’d be surprised how many. As a matter of fact the most common phrase I hear from people after I tell them I’m a drummer is “ya, I play drums too!” Now really, I don’t mind. I think it is great. The more drummers there are in the world, the better. I personally try to convert at least 50 people a year myself.

In my role as percussion instructor at the Royal Conservatory of Music, I would get calls from all kinds of prospective students. Upon meeting a student for the first time, I would always have them play a little for me so I could get a sense of what they know. I loved that moment (as painfully loud as it was sometimes). It was always interesting to see how some else played, their sensibility, their technique. Being a classically trained percussionist who also plays drum set, my sensibility was more on the subtler side of the instrument you might say. I could never have been a heavy metal drummer, just too loud for me. Needless to say, I would have to send some students packing because I was simply not who they needed to study with. One time however, I met a wonderful fellow named Jeff. My first impression was that he and I were not going to be a match. He was a big guy who came into my studio wearing a sleeveless t-shirt, had a couple tattoos, ear rings and really long dyed blond hair. He told me he was playing in a local rock band who I hadn’t heard of. (No surprise there since I was playing mostly with the National Ballet at the time!). It sounded like they were busy as he had some tour dates and even a cd or two under his belt. I asked him to play for me and I took my usual position for this moment about 15 feet away on the other side of the room. He played for me, and as loud as it was he was petty good and even pretty sensitive. Nice solid grooves that you would expect to hear from an accomplished player. I could see he had really thought about what he was doing. To be honest, his technique was a little lacking and I could tell he was doing some stuff the hard way, but he was doing it. After a few minutes I stopped him and we had a chat. I said, “Jeff, I think you sound great and I am not sure why you are here. Tell me about who you studied with?” He said he was self taught. He could not read a note of music but since his band was getting busier he was thinking it was time to learn.

That presented me with a dilemma. I said ” Jeff, are you sure? You sound really good. The fact that you can’t read music is not really affecting you. As well, once I teach you to read music like everyone else, you will never be the same. You will start to think differently about how you make music and once we do that there is no going back. It will be part of you. I think it will work out fine but you have to know you won’t think about music in the unique and original way you do now.”

He hadn’t realized that as he was just eager to learn. After pausing for a couple of minutes, he said he really wanted to learn to read music, learn about technique and he was ready for the change. Turns out he was a joy to teach. I am not sure I can say his playing improved dramatically but he continued to play well just executing things more efficiently than before. He became a very good reader and he liked that too! I guess I could say, it did give him a sense of confidence that he did not have before. Eventually, we parted ways. I will always remember teaching him though. For me it was the first time I wondered if I shouldn’t have taught a student for fear of compromising his true originality and uniqueness.

Drummers on Wall Street

Like many of you, I have been seeing and hearing the news surrounding Occupy Wall Street, Zuccotti Park, New York. It appears that the drummers involved have caused quite a controversy and while they may have intended to be helping the cause it appears they may actually be hurting it. They have been playing most of the day and well into the night and as well as garnering noise complaints from both the neighbourhood and the protesters. They have caused a divide in the movement itself. Since drumming has been so positive for me, I wanted to dig a little deeper to try to understand what is going on.

Throughout history drumming has always had a purpose. It has always had the incredible power to unify groups of people. Its ancient uses were in ceremonies to celebrate various occasions in a village and also to prepare warring factions for battle. The drum has had a long history in war. The armies of Rome had drummers along side the commanding officers that played rhythmic versions of the commanders’ orders. Drums could be heard over the battlefield and played beats to keep the troops marching.

Nowadays, drumming has many realizations. It is true that it has been a big part of freer gatherings of people expressing their concerns over a cause; to show unity and ”togetherness”. But it is hard for onlookers to have an appreciation for the power of drumming when it is used disrespectfully. I have learned that there are actually two drumming groups involved in this protest in New York. There is a group of drummers that agreed to play during two windows of time during the day. But another group who just wanted to play wherever they want as long as they want.

Drums have the power of sooth as well as annoy. I have always said that playing drums in a group is about two things: Listening and Respect. This respect is also for the listener; if you don’t respect your listener then drumming becomes a selfish act. When you take listening and respect away from drumming it becomes noise, and it makes it hard for those us who care so deeply about the great power of drumming to be taken seriously when we speak about its benefits.

http://occupywallst.org/article/drumming-and-occupation/

http://gawker.com/5852992/

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